Bobby Alexander Cypocalypse's posts with tag: university
 One of the initial problems I have to deal with when I first joined peyups.com was the amount of insecure confrontational egotistic dorks that I have to get myself used to. They're practically everywhere.
To those of you who'd be reading this that have little idea of what UP life is like, it's basically like this--remember those attention-whore, leader-wannabe dorks that everybody hates in high school? Well, most of them ended up in UP. And guess what, more attention-whorish dorks mean more competition which also means that a typical UPIAN would be expected to jack-up even more his attention-whoring proficiency just to remain competitive.
Unless, of course, the UPIAN would be in a college where attention whoring is not that much important and you can practically survive with zero traces of personality and social life, like the College of Engineering, for example. Actually, that's the college where uncool people and faculty members are expected to be found. Coolness there is a rarity, unless you get to find people on a regular basis that's comparable to Nickah_Gurl. But the opportunity isn't always there.
First problem I have to deal with is...some people are too lazy to read. I've been getting tons of complaints, ranging from what I write and how I write my forum posts. I can't believe that people would easily be offended at how a person writes things, when he's not even ridiculing or being sarcastic to anyone.
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Cypocalypse2: Cypocalypse, you write way too long.
Cypocalypse1: There's always an ignore option. One can always use it.
Cypocalypse2: But it makes their eyes hurt.
Cypocalypse1: Again, there's always an ignore option.
Cypocalypse2: Or you can use Tagalog.
Cypocalypse1: Writing in Tagalog is complex. It seems easy to do because we use it as a spoken language all the time, but writing is a different field, really.
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Really, it's a good venue for personality analysis. In an ego saturated community like peyups.com (or UP in a broader sense), you can easily look at a person's weakness by looking at the thing that he hates.
Cypocalypse2: For example, a guy who has issues with machismo sometimes manifest in showing hatred for gays.
Cypocalypse1: Yeah, with that alone, you can already name two prominent peyups.com members with regard to that.
Cypocalypse2: Or, a Peyups.com member with no legitimate literary proficiency will most likely hate the writers.
Cypocalypse1: Exactly. And you can also look at the opposite side of this. A peyups.com member who have a bit of an inclination with literature will probably look at the works of the columnists--like Lagsh for example.
Cypocalypse2: But what if, the Peyups people involved in a conflict are girls having a catfight, what would be their weakness?
Cypocalypse1: Boys! 
Cypocalypse2: Oh!  But anyway...why look at the weaknesses?
Cypocalypse1: You look at them so that when you get assaulted at Peyups.com again, you have a legit set of weapons with you. You'll never know when someone is going to strike.
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One of Cypocalypse's first problems that he has to cope with when he first posted in peyups.com was the notion of popularity contest. Some people think that my posting style is a pretension. But for some people who are used to posting on other foreign message boards (PEX doesn't count because the posting style of most members there aren't really that better than the average posting style of any peyups.com member).
Cypocalypse2: Aminin mo na kasi. Bago ka nag Peyups, nagpo post ka sa ibang message boards, like shoryuken.com, na ang mga members eh karamihan nogngog na ungas, tapos kung meron ka mang nakaka interact na mga Pilipino, karamihan dun eh Ingleserong taga La Salle na naglalaro sa University Mall. So kailangan English ang post mo at kailangan matino ka mag post kasi magiging kapareho mo yung mga nognog dun sa shoryuken.com, na ang grammar at spelling eh mas malala pa sa Pinoy.
Cypocalypse1: Aba! Tagalog na yan ah!
Cypocalypse2: Ganito kasi problema mo. Gusto mo English kasi mas poetic sya. True, hirap maging poetic sa tagalog kasi magtutunog archaic, pero kung sa panlalait mo gagamitin ang Tagalog, mas effective sya, kasi mas malutong manlait sa Tagalog.
Cypocalypse1: Really?
Cypocalypse2: Try mo.
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Cypocalypse1: Unang lait na natanggap ko, tinaga ako sa grammar check.
Cypocalypse2: A real linguist doesn't give that much premium on grammar because language is a very complex entity that encompasses a lot of things, and sometimes, being too anal on grammar can prevent a person from stating what he would want to express. Grammar, in this situation becomes more of a hindrance than an actual guide.
Cypocalypse1: Teka, sabi mo, magtatagalog na tayo?
Cypocalypse2: Ano ba sa tagalog ang encompass?
Cypocalypse1: Saklaw?
Cypocalypse2: Ang isang totoong linguist ay di masyadong nagbibigay ng kaukulang importansya sa....ay puki ng ina, English na lang tayo konti. Teka, sino na nga ba ulit yung lalaitin natin? Putek, ang haba na nito, wala ka pang nilalait.
Cypocalypse1: Errrrrrrr........ 
Cypocalypse2: Sabi nga ni Queen, hindi mo pwedeng tapusin ang blog na to sa tono ng save-the-world. Start with a lait, end with a lait. Dali, umpisahan mo na.
Cypocalypse1: Errrrrrrr.......
Cypocalypse2: Ay, pucha, ako na nga mag-uumpisa. Umpisahan natin dun sa ungas na galit sa bading, na pinaghinalaan ka pang bading, na galit sa mga konyo, na pati English mo inatake, na naasar sa yo kasi you mentioned one time na modelo sa rampa ang isa mong kaibigan, na nanghahabol pa sa ibang thread para lang makapang away ng forum members, na di naman kayang magpakita ng mukha man lang.
Cypocalypse1: Di kayang magpakita ng mukha?
Cypocalypse2: Uhmmm....meron pa nga palang isang ungas dun na di nagpapakita ng mukha. Pero mamaya na yun.
Cypocalypse1: Haha!
Cypocalypse2: Eto ha, simple lait.....
Di ko na problema kung di ka marunong magsulat, di marunong makahanap ng cool chick, o tsinupa ng bakla against your wishes, or wala ka talagang trace ng social awareness (which means that if you're even a bigger ass than Cypocalypse then you're already too much of an ass because, Cypocalypse isn't really even trying to be one), pero ganito lang yan.
Kung feeling mo, superior ka sa bading, well, some gays are cool people to hang out with. SOME. Minsan, they overlap with the bisexual population. Yung mga bisexual, sila yung mga gwapings na mahilig sa kapwa gwapings na ang tambayan madalas eh sa Jupiter Street. How do I know? Madalas sila ang naha hire bilang mga male ramp models. And when they are hired, they get to know FEMALE ramp models. You do the math. Ganyan network ng mga yan. Sa UP, they can normally be found sa Speech Com, Theater, Mass Com, Tourism, Econ din yata. Sa Eng'g halos wala, except nga kay Nickah_Gurl.
Ang kailangan mong gawin eh lumabas minsan sa bahay mo, at tigilan mo na ang pangangalikot sa electronic gadget mo, at dapat babae ang kinakalikot mo. Yun lang. Better if you're in a relationship kasi mas consitent yung kalikot, but sometimes kasi, may ibang mga Peyups.com members na over-infatuated sa pagkakaroon ng achievement (refer to my attention-whore statement a couple pf paragraphs above for reference), na tumanda na't lahat lahat, yumaman na't lahat lahat, bigla yatang nakalimot kung paano kumalikot ng babae at one thing you'll know, magpo post na lang minsan sa Relationship Forum na feeling nila, sila na ang master of kalikot.
Fact is, sa mga ungas na ganyan, please lang.....
Pag nahiritan ka na ni Alexis ng mga tipong..."Those who offer money for love end up with a woman whose love can be bought"...
Ibig sabihin, tablado ka na, checkmate, 3 hit combo, FATALITY!
 Actually, Cypocalypse's history with the Queen is quite complex--arguably among the most complex forms of acquaintance that I have with anyone.
We first met a few years back--back when Discostu was still the quintessential bullshit in the Peyups.com Relationship Forum. Of course, he has long been banned, leaving the Cypocalypse and another ass to slug it out in the coveted bullshit throne in the Relationship Forum, which, quite ironically, I no longer post at these days when I realize that the regulars there are still relationship kids one way or another. Sort of been there, done that for me, I guess.
I first met the Queen in her college. We also met with two peyups.com peeps. One is a girl and the other one is a guy named Email Failure Notification. For me, it was one of the earliest meetings that I did with any peyups.com member.
Peyups.com night outs would only manifest much later (though there have been night outs before, involving other older members). It started when the Singles Thread was still active, and Bread_&_Sweetpotato was still single. He's normally the person organizing the night outs. He eventually fell in love with his girlfriend, and the dynamics of future meetings would have to change because he can no longer make himself available that much. For one, he no longer qualifies as single.
One thing I have observed with the Queen is her legit Queen-like behavior. People have to talk to the Queen, otherwise, she'll just neglect you. She is not Miss Diplomacy or Congeniality. I've told this to her a couple of times and she was just laughing at the statement. She probably doesn't care, really. Though the smile can be deceiving though. Queen would probably chuckle 90% of the time in the public, and one can be mislead to think that she's actually miss nice. She isn't. She's far from nice.
Further interaction with the queen shows interesting revelations. Nothing surprising, but would definitely connect a lot of dots. Her family set-up isn't necessarily the most ideal one that a queen can wish for, nor her experiences in relationship has not been built by legitimate fidelity. She has to be a queen because the situation calls for it. she didn't have to tell me that statement directly. One just have to connect the dots.
One of Cypocalypse's biggest lessons in his entire stay in Peyups.com would manifest later. The lesson was.....never ever use the notion of ethics while interacting with the Queen. Hell will break loose. Really.
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Cypocalypse2: Yeah, when that happens Cypocalypse will go down from the heavens to battle the army of the Imperial Peyups Matriarch!
Cypocalypse1: Uhmmm....yeah!
Cypocalypse2: Which will then make you learn about the next important lesson--never ever mess up with queenie bitches.
Cypocalypse1: Errrrrrrr......
Cypocalypse2: Because some bitches can be charming.
Cypocalypse1: Ok.
Cypoclaypse2: See, if you look at your bitch relationship/acquaintance/friendship resume, you're making them hate you at one point. Usually, that happens when you jack up your rationality and you start to get pissed off when the girls become erratic, bitchy, or whatnot. Remember, chicks give no shit about any form of rationality.
Cypocalypse1:
Cypocalypse2: But the thing that was not written in the books, what a lot of people don't know--the one thing that can surprise them--you've talked to the Queen after your major slugfest with her. People only know the slugfest. What they probably don't know is that the two of you actually talked, and for the most part, the slugfest was technically over quite immediately.
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For a while it would have been a better idea to let the people know that we had a fight--just that alone. Let them think that she just crossed paths with my more opinionated side. Certainly, the thought of making people know that we talked afterwards would be an unbelievable idea. And besides, at that point in time, I still don't like her that much.
Her standpoint should be defined and mine should be the same, hence the idea of letting things end with an impression to everyone that there's no actual attempt for a resolution to the conflict would seem to be quite of an acceptable idea.
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Cypocalypse2: But, she interacted with you again. Though interacting with her personally doesn't normally manifest in you when you meet her in Peyups.com night outs, she interacts with you if you just make a start--she's practically just a YM away anyway. That's one thing about her that separates her from the other bitches. While the others waits for a guy's affectionate apology, she talks. The Queen talks to you when you attempt to do it. No apology needed, no similar bullshit. All you need to do is make a BUZZ (YM pun intended).
Cypocalypse1:
Cypocalypse2: See, it's easy to visualize your sentiments. You would think that she had been ridiculing you in front of the others since that incident. Maybe she did. She's mean anyway. That's her lifestyle, you can't change that. But of all the fallouts that you had with a girl, her situation is among the legitimate few that you're able to patch up, and she was among the few that was quite cooperative. She's the one available for talk, and that is one side of her that is often overlooked. If you look at things at face value, it's hard to like her, especially if you're a girl. She acts bitchy, her chuckles look in contrast with her Queen stature....and uhmmm...she gets all the guys. LOL!
Cypocalypse1:
Cypocalypse2: And you want others to talk to her to get things over with. That's about it, right? You, doing it first, hoping that some would get the message and follow.
Cypocalypse1: I guess
Cypocalypse2: But a catfight is a catfight and them girls who may have a grudge with her don't care about gentlemanly slash philosohical slash semi emo slash civil talk that you're doing with her.
Cypocalypse1:
Cypocalypse2: I'm going to bet 500 for the queen. A queen always have her soldiers. No one can beat that.
Cypocalypse1:
May still be continued later. MAY.
 Just to give the others a basic idea on what peyups.com is about, it's essentially an online community (most members are from UP, as the website's name would imply) patterned after pinoyexchange.com. At that time, pinoyexchange.com was booming and somebody took the idea of making something similar for the UP crowd, I guess. Ateneo, La Salle, and UST made their own counterpart websites but only peyups.com remained legitimately successful, probably because...uhmmm....students of Ateneo and La Salle have a legitimate life outside the internet and uhmmmmm.....UST peeps are not known for making individualistic assertive opinions. Har har!
And being patterned after pinoyexchange.com's forum set-up, you'd expect similar dynamics. Peyups.com used to have a Sex and Intimacy forum like PEX, but like UP in general (or anything that has state subsidy), peyups.com is cheap and cannot afford the bandwidth coming from the migrants of Manilatonight.com, who wants to have access to Peyups chicks in the Sex and Intimacy forum. Yup. It's true. Guys dig peyups.com chicks because they're known to be the sophisticated liberated breed. Unlike other schools who are having problems keeping the dignity of their female populace, Peyups chicks can be brainiac and all thus still able to look cool despite acting whore-ish.
Eventually, S&I has to be shut down, and other contingency measures has to be done in order for peyups.com not to look as much of an ass like pinoyexchange.com. For example, Atheists versus Creationists threads in peyups.com are quite prohibited from getting created (whereas in PEX, they're everywhere) because people realized that people will have less chances of getting laid if they discuss philosophical/religious mumbo jumbo. Although other forums that would create controversies are still there because they pretty much define UP and they cannot be removed. For example, Current Events section is always a warzone but it's hardly restricted because most 99.9% of UP students blame GMA for everything, and they need to have an outlet for that. They just called the forum Current Events but it's more like Blame GMA for Everything forum. The hardcore posters there probably have the same relationship resume as the hardcore posters of the Atheists versus Creationists threads, but because one can hardly be a UPIAN if he doesn't blame GMA for everthing, anti-GMA posts are tolerated.
The more casual folks are usually hanging out at the Entertainment Section, Relationship Section, and the Members Area (which is like peyups.com's pantry). Observation-wise, I would have to say that peyups.com members are better behaved compared to the Pex members that post in its own Entertainment section because peyups.com members at least have a consensus that ABS-CBN is actually better than GMA (at least people there have enough common sense to acknowledge that, unlike some PEX hardcore peeps who would argue that GMA is better is because it has more effin' commercials).
Relationship section is a forum of some relationship noobs who have questionable posting proficiency, as well as neglibigle relationship experiences, asking things like what have gone wrong, but actually is a question of why they are so fucked up.
For example.....
Poster girl: Bkt kya me ni iwan ni SO k?
Cypocalypse: Ba, malay ko sa yo. Your writing style, perhaps?
Not that I've replied in a kind of tune I posted above but most of you guys would get the message anyway. Either most posters don't post with enough proficiency to get the message recipient to the root of the situation, or they're just in denial that it's them who are fucked up and they want to blame someone else for it.
I remember one time, I was arguing with a girl, who doesn't want to have a baby, and she wants to blame (though indirectly implied) her significant other for wanting to have one, and then she starts blaming society for all of them wanting to have a family, making her case fo effin' isolated. Yeah, things like that--situations where a guy would wanna get a shotgun and shoot someone. Anyone.
Most important forum subsection of all is the Members Area. This is the forum where night outs are held, or where inner conflicts usually are catalyzed, where the peyups.com chicks are all accounted for, where secret messages are posted as to whom did whom, where obscure chicks become an instant celebrity just by posting a picture, and where some members lose their status display because it went beyond the maximum allowable status.
To be continued....
 Honestly, I wouldn't be writing about this if she didn't give me a full go-signal. This is something that I'd rather keep unknown to many. I don't know. Let them play with what they perceive, and keep another layer of truth unnoticed. But to give her the benefit of the doubt, I'd write something about her so that things would not come solely from her own perspective. She's Peyups.com's queen--love her or hate her, she always have to carry both sides.
She is the queen--love her for her iconic status, or hate her for what she is inside that chuckles, which is made even more cute by the dimples. She gets the alpha bitch image as much as the alpha queen image. Certainly, not the perfect figure for the making of diplomacy--more like a female figure for getting into a girlie slugfest.
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Cypocalypse2: Dude, stop mentioning the words queen, alpha, iconic, and whatnot. Her ego would no longer fit in whatever office room she's in right now.
Cypocalypse1: How about Matriarch?
Cypocalypse2: I don't know. She hates the word though. Makes her look old.
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But seriously though, our personalities don't really match well. She's the iconic female that everybody reconizes and...
Cypocalypse2: You're the iconic know-it-all uptight dork that everybody recognizes?
Cypocalypse1: Stop ruining the flow. This blog should be in paragraph format.
Cypocalypse2: Oh, ok.
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She is recognized as the matriarch , the unconventional, the erratic, the top-of-the-line bitch. And I'm the guy who values principles, inner stability, inner consistency, and whatever is probably the opposite of her. In other words, we're like Megatron and Starscream--we just don't get along.
Cypocalypse2: And she would be Megatron because if you make her Starscream, then that would just make her second leader and she'll hate you for it. So you have to be that whining aircraft Decepticon.
Cypocalypse1: Fuck
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This is one of the few moments that we have to interact. Really. The situation calls for it. It's one those times where some people need to jack up their maturity and make sure a good assessment is done, and if possible, stramline the inner conflicts that goes around the community.
It's easy to pretend that there's nothing going. Everyone's just an online username who posts messages, opinions, and whatnot. Of course, everyone knows that this isn't true. People there meet in person. People there are real friends, they interact for real, and the community is big.
If there's one thing that peyups.com people should be proud of, is the fact that they can form a solid online community that translates as a legitimate community outside the white, orange, and maroon website that binds them that is the website itself. For most other forums, such feat is hardly attainable. I don't think Pinoyexchange has something as solid, nor does PTK, etc. And don't make me mention the forums of La Salle, Ateneo, and UST. They are hardly even existent.
The problem strikes when some peyups.com starts thinking that he or she is the greatest entity on the planet, and all of a sudden, too many things are being fought about and the promise sustaining the group as a large collective whole becomes threatened.
Everyone thinks he's the greatest one. Really. One can think that he's the greatest bachelor in the planet when all he have is money, an ugly face, masochism, and little experience in a relationship.
One would think that he offers the greatest solution to the country's economic problems when all that he really is is a guy who needs an effin' girlfriend.
One may think that she's the greatest in racking up partners but she's still an emotional wreck that's beyond logical comprehension.
And one can think that Angel Locsin should be the number 1 girl in the FHM Top 100 while others would fanatically defend Marianne's position. Though Cypocalypse thinks that Angel really deserves it. Haha!
Add up all all of the things that are being fought about and you have a big community who's still hanging out with each other, but on the other hand, one has to take into account the conflicts that go along with it.
But no one gets into the center of it than the Queen.
And....no one gets to see things the way the Cypocalypse views them.
If anyone gets to have a lion's share of the intrigues, the queen obviously gets them--the juiciest ones, the ones that people would like to talk about. She's the queen after all. The recipient of rumors about who's doing who, who's acting mean, who's doing the nasty, etc.
And the Cypocalypse would be a hypocrite if he would say that he's not aware of them, or not affected, or not involved (indirectly, at most), when his recognizability matches that of the queen.
For one, everybody knows that the Cypocalypse and the Queen don't like each other that much. It had always been a clash of his self righteousness and her stubborness in defining the moral walls of conventional ethics. We clash in principles most of the time, and probably, for most people with regard to what they know, what we have is always a subtle backstabbing of her own ridicules towards me and vice versa--the mean girl's stubborness and my own's ideals of setting things straight.
But when things go out of hand, and rumors start to float around about who's clean or mean, who is doing the nasty with whom, who hates whom, or whom likes to make everything look like an ego slugfest just because they hold the PEYUPS prestige, Cypocalypse starts interacting with the most unlikely person he'd interact with--the person he supposedly doesn't like, but for some reason, he has to do it anyway.
He starts interacting with someone he used to consider..............a friend.
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I told the queen that if we think about it, there are only few people that are involved here. Of course, I would no longer mention if she's somehow in this thing directly. Even if I don't mention everything explicitly, she knows what I would be referring to. She knows the person that she has to eventually deal with, she knows the people who are affected the most, she knows the real details of things, and the truth is, she could play the most crucial role if things do ever get into a legitimate closure. She's is, afterall, the queen. Her control, her shot.
And then, she'd tell me how others are getting affected by this. How things affect her friends when they shouldn't be affected or involved in the first place, and how she wishes that they can be outside of this, or how she wishes that it would just be her if anyone wants to poke something at her.
For some people, they would think that it's all about the queen and her lackeys poking at anyone. Truth is, the queen is getting poked herself. And if one can have a certain degree of vulnerability, it's her--she's always around--YM is active almost always, and she's normally present anywhere. Reducing it to a thing as simple has her being mean and ridiculing anyone at the sheer fun of it is something that is not well thought of, if not really naive.
Problem starts to get really worse when people start thinking that people are taking sides, when they are hardly there to begin with, and then people starts having their pre-conceived idea as to whom is allied to whom, and then people start aiming their guns at the wrong people, and then some of those aims could be directed towards friends that I know that are hardly involved to begin with. This became one of the situations that compelled me to talk to the queen again--my friends are getting affected too.
To be continued....
 Cypocalypse: Manong, pwede ho Tandang Sora?
Taxi Driver: Sige!
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Taxi Driver: Monday seems to be quite a busy night for Eastwood even at this time of the night, isn't it?
Cypocalypse: Must be the call center people. Eastwood is a call center haven anyway.
A few minutes later....
Taxi Driver: You're a call center agent?
Cypocalypse: No. Not here. I just attended a band gig here. My favorite band performs here every Monday, so that's why I'm here. But I used to work as a call agent before, a couple of months ago. It will be soon before I go back. I need to.
Taxi Driver: Is the pay good? I head that you guys earn something like 20k for a startup?
Cypocalypse: 15k would be a more appropriate average. Not that big but it can get me going. I still get support so, if anything, that's just extra luxury money.
Taxi Driver: Well, that's big enough.
Cypocalypse: Comparatively, yeah. But....it's not the kind of thing that's really sustainable. The job is hardly stable to begin with, but that's fine with me.
Taxi Driver: Why unstable?
Cypocalypse: Too many things not normally accounted for can get you fucked up. An asshole of supervisor, etc. It's hard to explain, but if you're there, you can easily understand what I mean.
Taxi Driver: Yeah, I think I do get where you're pointing at.
Cypocalypse: For a newbie, basic English competence is a requirement, of course. Anyway, being from UP myself, in the future, I may consider Eastwood as a prospect venue for finding work. Transportation is not that cooperative, but I need to expand my horizons.
Taxi Driver: Ok.
Cypocalypse: It's not that easy to get hired in this industry. Everyday, probably 90% of applicants are not getting accepted just because they don't know how to 'sell' themselves. Of course, communication skills in an issue. Realistically, only around 10% get accepted. And we're talking of everyday hiring here.
Taxi driver: Incompetence?
Cypocalypse: Ethics. Improper communication ethics. For most Filipinos, speaking English is a scary thing where they think too much of the rules rather than the act of saying anything. It doesn't help either if you have other people ridiculing you for your sheer effort in saying anything.
Taxi driver: Kinda like how we treat the Visayans and their accent?
Cypocalypse: Exactly, not to mention the other bullshits a new employee would have to live up with once he gets hired. Anyway, I stayed too long in UP Diliman, and I need a working experience to have a paradigm shift of things--like a feeling of being productive, for one.
moments later.....
Taxi Driver: Diliman?
Cypocalypse: Yes!
Taxi Driver: I'm a friend of one of you guys. Do you know _____________?
Cypocalypse: Uhmmm....that skinny dude? Wow! I never realized that he's one of us.
Taxi Driver: I'm quite familiar with the way student activism works in your university.
Cypocalypse: Student activists? Hmmmm....they're not that active anymore. Not like they used to. If anything, they sort of represent a dying ideal. I'm referring to the red, of course.
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Cypocalypse: You know what, I can clearly see a distinction bewteen my old UP life, and the way corporate stuff works. It's like...they're two completely different things. The reds used to rally about socialism and whanot...and how the university should not be influenced by anything corporate. If anything....if you think about it, it's not right.
Taxi Driver: Exactly.
Cypocalypse: What if.....the future country leader would come from UP, and he want to start a business? Maybe do something good for the country by hiring people. Will UP give him enough training? Certainly not. what we have there are small-time stalls selling snacks as pricey as 7-11 sells them. Certainly not that efficient. Certainly, I would have wanted to see a Mini Stop there instead.
Taxi Driver: Good point.
Cypocalypse: Certainly, I couldn't represent what the reds represent. What if, let's say, I'm a son of a quite affluent parents? Will I ever represent their cause? Hardly. I wouldn't be able to relate to that, probably. There are other causes I can better represent. It's just sometimes, the reds are too noisy to make other perspectives rise.
Taxi Driver: Autonomy is quite a false ideal. I learned the hardship of being an NPA soldier a few years ago.
Cypocalypse: You were?
Taxi Driver: Yes, for about a year or two.
Cypocalypse: What made you leave?
Taxi Driver: If you think about it, our main boss is out of the country, but we still need money to get things going. Ever got an idea where we get them? We get them from the people, visit their house once in a while. Even if we act friendly, they'll give us a thing or two. They're scared. We have guns. I just realized that it's not right to get money from them when they're hardfly rich to begin with. I eventually left.
Cypocalypse:.....
 A couple of years ago...
Cypocalypse: When you ever plan on writing something, how do you ever conceptualize its ending?
Professor: You don't. You hardly do it.
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Fuck. Not this shit again. It's one of those figurative statements again. That's his manner of interacting. Mostly open ended things that make you guess...until you get pissed off eventually. Yeah, I'm referring to that guy. He was my professor more than 5 years ago. Probably, closer to 10 years ago than 5 years ago.
This is the second time I'm going to write something about this professor. No professor in UP had made me blog about him, let alone twice, except this guy. Yeah, that frail looking old man that hardly even qualifies as a professor, in terms of looks. But...I still have to give homage to him. He deserves it.
It's hard for me to grasp the statement. My innocent age of 20 (probably even less than that) at that time couldn't possibly have derived the essence of the statement. A story with less consideration on how to end it? Silly! So silly! Or that's what I thought.
He was my professor at Humanidades--Tagalog translation of Humanities. Translation: It's a general course that I have to take to pull up my general weighted average because chances are, I'm going to have a low grade at a certain math or science course. This subject is a saving grace for my grade average. I never realized that this would play so much role in what I would eventually become--a saving grace for something so much more than a mark on a class card.
How can one not think about an ending? It's all about an ending, isn't it? A good grade after a semester--that's an ending. Graduation--an ending. Achieving the metrics needed by a person's corporate work--an ending. Being faithful to a biblical principle for an eventual ascension to a heavenly body--an ending.
How can he tell me that it's not about it? How does one write something when he doesn't even plan on visualizing the eventuality?
It took me a few years later to realize the answer.
You don't think of the ending that much because you could tend to overlook the journey. The journey is the process of writing itself. Think of the journey more so than the destination.
As a student of College of Engineering and later, the Institute of Library and Information Science, I would have to say that the most influential professor in my life is one that neither came from any of the two. It came from the College of Arts and Letters.
In a place (College of Engineering and ILIS) where everything is a rigid structure of prerequisites (a successions of endings I have to get over with), I overlooked a lot of processes. I only cared about the ending--the good grades. And then I have to do something again. I never, ever, appreciated the process more so than the eventuality. It was always the bottom line.
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In one of my classes with him, he asked the students to submit their artwork done on a copy paper. Yeah, it's one of those child related activities that we're asked to do once in a while. Everyone of us submitted our work. And then.......
Professor: Now, which one of you did this? I find this very troubling. The owner of this work seems troubled. The guy draws too many things. A dinosaur, a plane, and a character with an X mark on the left cheek. Now, which known character has a X mark on the cheek? And why does it seem that this character is scared of the dinosaur?
Student: It's Rurouni Kenshin
Another student: Yes. It's evident in the brush strokes. The person, is.....troubled. The strokes are heavy.
Fuck, it's my work. Truth is, I was too lazy doing that thing so I made the strokes heavy to cover a better surface area.
But yes, the professor was right. I was troubled. I was lonely at that time. No one guessed it. No one figured that out. No one, ever. It was only him who did it. UP....at that time...was a lonely place. I won't expound on the details but anyway...I never realized that a sentiment that I had would manifest in something as childish as a paper art.
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Future google search years later showed that this guy was awarded as the best assistant professor in the College of Arts and Letters. Fuck, I had classes with one of CAL's top guns. And his popularity in the academe goes way beyond the UP academe.
Actually, we hardly ever had a final exam in this subject. And I bet he just gave it out of formality. But I know for one that he doesn't want to gave us a final exam. But I never got a good grade from him. I barely passed, actually. Our ego has always been clashing. I always wanted to challenge his ego. He's a very intelligent guy.
His intelligence is more grounded. Of course, the line of expertise would the the arts. He has passion for literature, visual arts, etc.--things that we have more access to as compared to things some people specialize about just because they need it for an eventual career (another form of an ending, if you think about it. Something ends, then it would just be a catalyst for another start, and then we look for another ending again. We look too much for a succession of destinations, we overlook the trip).
More importantly, more than the intelligence one uses to compute for an integral function of a calculus equation, more than the the intelligence of knowing force that a weight exerts onto something, or more than the intelligence of fully knowing the rules of the Anglo-American Classification Rules in organizing information (knowledge that I have forced myself to master, with litle avail), his is the one that saw through me, and he doesn't even need to look like a Makati professional to look dignified. He doesn't need it.
The truth is, this guy is one of the most arrogant bastards that I know. He has a great talent in making everyone look essentially ignorant. And the beauty of of it is, he doesn't need to look competent. He doesn't even need to come from a top of the line college. the Tri Col (CS, CSSP, CAL) has always been underrated by other colleges anyway (College of Engineering, College of Law, etc.) because they don't hold the heavy math stuff, the heavy protocols--the intellectual challenge. Not to mention that they don't seem to give the promise of a good financial career that the other colleges promise.
The bottom line is (and as of this moment, I'm writing this without an initial idea of ending it), his knowledge is the one that mattered to me at that time where I'm not that mature yet to see myself. The irony is, I realized now that I needed him way after I'm done taking classes with him. He's the one that gave me an eventual ticket to an awakening a few people rarely see.
 If I'm not mistaken, in a span of 2 months, the Cypocalypse has gotten around 5 queries from female peyups.com members asking me if I know a certain peyups.com member who apparently stalks them or makes a sexual solicitation.
It's funny how one may think that know a lot of peyups.com people. That's probably because I hang out there too much. I make an obvious choice when it comes to questions about that.
What's interesting about these queries is that, a certain username came out more than once out of these multiple queries, and the other, I've met in person (which I will not expound). Hahahahahahahaha!
It's funny when you think about it. Some of these "stalking" peeps don't turn out to be as aesthetically appealing in real life. I thought that there's something in their real life persona that would back up their online audacity of lurking and the eventual attempt for "the kill". It turns out that some of them are pretty much defined by the stereotypical notion of making themselves look good under online anonymity because their real life character is a bit crappy.
I told one of the females, "If the person doesn't seem to be noticeable that much in the forums, expect them to have a malicious intent. I mean come on. Hardly noticeable, and for some obscure reason, your private message inbox gets weird invites. It can't get any more apparent than that."
Well, she agreed with me. For the most part anyway, I hardly know the usernames being mentioned.
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Here's a tip though. I don't know for certain if peyups stalkers view my blog page just to get an idea on who the peyups.com chicks are, but I'd still give you guys a perspective that you may wanna think about.
A peyups.com group night out can normally rack up 10-30 people, in which most of the "prominent" people are included (the pretty ones, the dorks, the asses, etc.). By the time a stalker starts stalking a perky girl who may have posted a cute picture of herself, chances are, she may have already known 10-30 peyups people, therefore it would be likely that she'd ask any of these 30 people something about the identity of the stalker. One can't get that elusive when 30 or so people know each other, in person.
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Cypocalypse2: And chances are, by the time the stalker is just starting to have the guts to ask some peyups girl out, Cedi would have already accounted her, maybe got her number even.
Cypocalypse1: The hell?
Cypocalypse2: Sorry, I just feel that I have to butt that in.
Cypocalypse1:
Cypocalypse2: Which also kinda means, by the time the guy starts hounding a peyups.com chick, Cedi is already working on the volume 2 chick list.
Cypocalypse1: I do not hound anyone. 
Cypocalypse2: Well, of course, you don't have to when being friendly and just simply asking them out is soooooooooo much easier, isn't it? Cuddly friendly Cedi would have no problems with that, wouldn't he?
Cypocalypse1: Shut up!
Cypocalypse2:
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Seriously though, I think one would have better success if he just makes himself more visible, join the group or something, and map out some discreet plans later on with someone whom he gets to establish ties with. That way, he wouldn't look too cryptic, not to mention that he wouldn't look laughable at the 30 or so peeps who may get to hear about his stalking ways. Hey, even "adventurous" girls would want to feel a certain form of security when engaging themselves into something like this that's supposedly discreet.
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Cypocalypse2: Your least sentence made me wonder. How were you able to know that?
Cypocalypse: Shut up.
| Start: | Jun 6, '08 7:00p | | Location: | Trinoma |
Pucha, di nga ako ang manlilibre. Wag makulit yung iba. LOL!
I saw a fellow UP student's blog about the UP charter. It's a blog response to a newspaper article about the changes in the UP principles. If I get the facts right, the charter modification is a change in the status quo of UP as it goes from a state-subsidized institution, to a more commercialized one. The UP principles thus, needs to be redefined.
It has been stated that in the article that, for the bulk of UP employees, a charter change is just basically a hope for a higher employee salary--hardly anything beyond it. Interestingly enough, if the charter means only that much to the employees, what more can that mean to the students?
Of course, the issue of salary increase in the University of te Philippines is a big one. After all, any disgruntled UP faculty can be siphoned by the likes of Miriam College and Ateneo de Manila by offering him twice the salary that he's been getting in UP. The issue of brain drain can be thus significant, as UP aspires to keep its intellectual pool going, in a sustained proactive way. After all, it's the house of the country's intellectual elite.
The person took note of critical and creative thinking because it's the manifestation of the sustained dynamics of exchange od philosophies and ideas, and also the conio kids because they represent the future of UP as the tuition there significantly jacks up to 1000 pesos per unit. The days of UP as a university for the masses is bound for an eventual death, or so it seems.
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I can't help but reply on this because:
- Compared to UP people that I know, I'm comparatively critical minded.
- I'm a son to a set parents who are pretty good achievers in their own right, so I guess I can speak a thing or two about the conio kids.
First thing I need to point out is the issue of critical thinking. Critical thinking is the ability to think so precisely and creatively that one may dwell into perspectives that other people don't normally perceive or think about. It's an out-of-the-box, broader-ranged way of thinking that is sometimes disregarded, even by the academic institution that supposed to promote it in the first place.
Let's just say that, when I was in the College of Engineering, I was too busy shuffling Leithold (Calculus), Physics, and Engineering Science to even think critically. Heck, I'm not even sure if I would pass these courses, let alone think critically of other issues, and even more so being a forerunner in an eventual revolution for the country, whatever that is, or will turn out to be. Heck, I don't even think I can write the way I'm writing things right now.
My life was devoted for surivival in the College of Engineering. Yup. I need to survive. Come to think of it, the thought of thinking creatively and critically would be an indulgence when I don't even have the proper formula and ethics yet to deal with Leithold and his ilk, as well as their sidekicks, which are the geeky instructors of the College of Engineering who turned out to be so geeky, they forgot how to teach things effectively. Boredom and loss of motivation was my all-time worst enemy.
And then, at the opposite side of the highly structured (figuratively) Melchor Hall was the house of ideas and the conio kids--The Palma Hall (College of Arts and Letters, College of Science and Philosophy, College of Science). It's the building that's less defined by structures, but by ideas, and it's the building that houses the set of conio kids that don't seem to have something to fight for because...they're already rich. What do they aspire for then, when society dictates to us that being rich is the ultimate end of things, where fighting for something no longer seems necessary?
It's in the building of Palma Hall where I first encountered the plight of disgruntled professors who receive low wages. Well, the professors of the College of Engineering looked more disgruntled but its these Palma Hall stalwarts that have the guts to say something about their plight. They're the ones who told me that they decide to stay in UP even if what they earn there is just the equivalent of a janitor's salary in Miriam College. And they do it because they love UP. And they're the people who brought a certain degree of enlightenment (critical thinking) to me that made me eventually realize that, maybe the rigid halls of what I assumed to be my home (Melchor Hall), isn't really my inclination, and I'm better off somewhere else. Critical thinking may not have showed me the other door for the next opportunity (yet), but it at least showed me that I have the choice to make some changes in my life, even if the eventuality of it is not that apparent yet. And maybe, with this, I may start caring for the institution that gave me a ticket to freedom (as well as the state it's supposed to represent). And maybe some of these conio kids would realize that they can avail of the ticket too, and realize that hanging out at the Palma Hall lobby and doing nothing is not the ultimate eventuality, that they can do something more for the country, even if they don't necessarily represent the needs of the poor.
|  | =) |
| | Finally, a celphone strap that doesn't look like one of those obscure soccer teams from Europe. FINALLY! |
| | Plus some other pics. |
I've come across a thread in peyups.com narrating the life of a certain student's problem in keeping up with his studies. I'm barely able to see the progress of the the thread though. I think the dude was already kicked out of the university. I don't really know. Of course, some forum members posted there and gave him some positive remakrs to uplift his spirit. Though as expected, the thread was hardly noticeable. If it were not for the recent "bump" that it got, I wouldn't even notice it.
It's a thing common to UP students that they don't really normally talk about. I don't even normally talk about it. It's simple, actually. Life of a UP student is hard. That's a bit of an understatement, really. It's more than just getting good grades, really.
A friend told me once that THESIS is like the F word. It's not supposed to be mentioned randomly. One has to be a bit discrete in saying that word, because....it's as bad as the F word. The mere mention of such word would make you wanna kill somebody. I think I should be added to the group. I think I want to kill somebody right now.
The hardness of this academic life is more like an open secret. Everybody knows that it exists in a lot of people, but nobody wants to talk about it. It's kinda like the world expects you to be that intelligent flawless dude. Of course, you're from UP, right? You can't be dumb. Seriously. Suddenly, the idea of talking about things like thesis and being in a brink of getting kicked out is a taboo. That is not the concept of a UP student that you would wanna show to anyone.
Actually, I'm not sure if a lot of my friends know this but, I still have a pending dissertation. I wouldn't consider myself that shabby because that's the only thing left undone. I know quite a number of people (some are my friends, even) who have taken the leave-UP-and-be-a-call-center-agent-route because for all purposes, I'm going to end up on the same path anyway. Harhar! Well, they always tell that they would want to o back to UP eventually, but, I don't really care.
But seriously, unlike these peeps who decided to work because they need money, I have a different take on the issue. I'm still supported financially, so money is not the issue for me. My point is, I don't wanna be defined by someone or something--not by a someone else's ideals, not by a class card that categorizes people into 1, 1.25, 1.5, 1.75, 2.5, 2.75, 3, 4, 5 or eventually, a paper that tells you that you've just graduated.
Actually, the thought of me being defined by someone else, or a thing such as a paper doesn't seem to be too comforting. But don't get me wrong though. This isn't a denial mode. I've played most of my life being the teacher's pet than being this individualistic assertive peson that I currently am. I know both angles to this.
For some UP people that I know who have moved on and have a more mature life to lead (career, marriage, etc.), things boil down to the same process--they still need external validation. And I guess that can be a tad lonely there. I know someone who's always bragging about his hardworked financial status, and another someone who brags about being the center of attention in a crowd. And lastly, another someone who's too aesthetics conscious.
Of course, everything here becomes superficial again, doesn't it? As superficial as that classcard paper that sums up your performance in a given semester, the fact is, everything external can be summed up to the same word--superficial.
Actually, this is how you play that superficial game. You attack the core that is weak. As someone said, superficial arsenal is a defense mechanism for a weak interior. Probably true. You may, for example, expose the core of that person who wants to be the center of attention all the time. You make the people around him lose his trust on him. Say something bad about him perhaps? Say something true about his being?
Not that I do it. I don't. All I wanna know is, getting attached to everything external, at the expense of one's core, can that realistically make anyone happy? You deprive one of attention, of looks, of prestige, of stature, isn't the only thing left that would matter the beauty from within? Yup, a bit preachy, I know. Clicheic even. But so true, isn't it?
| | ....with added guests. LOL!
Key-Si next time, bring Madonna. LOL!
Anyway, haggard daw si Keysi. Di pwedeng maraming pics muna. LOL! |
 Last night, I was watching an documentary show on ABS-CBN. I think the title of the show was Probe (or was it, The Correspondents). I'm not sure. At the time I turned-on the TV the issue that was being discussed was teh Spratly Islands controversy. Lately, the issue has been getting some hype because of its possible connection to the present NBN/ZTE scandal.
The issue gets even more interesting after I found out that a friend (Ivy Cloma of Peyups) is related to one of the key Filpino discoverers of the island group (Tomas Cloma).
Anyway, the interesting part of the documentary was the interview of Joe de Venecia in which he said something like:
"Why do we always need to have this probinsyano mentality? What the hell can still happen to this country if we think like that all the time?"
I personally thought that ABS-CBN did a bad editing of that part because the show wasn't able to expound the probinsyano mentality, and looking at that part at its face value can easily give Joe de Venecia a bad impression. I wish it was well explained because the comment was smart even if it appeared to be sarcastic.
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A probinsyano, in a deeper context, can be perceived as someone who's "simple" minded, doesn't see the bigger picture, has an intense need for sovereignty (which is related to the concept of "regional" pride), prioritizes primarily the importance of his community or his province over the national interest, and is usually bounded by the biases of the constraints of his community.
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UP students need not look that much farther into the issue because something similar is happening in our own backyard.
Philippines = Up Diliman
Spratly Islands = That "idle" land at the other side of Commonwealth Avenue
Establishment erected on the Islands = Asian Institute of Tourism
Perceived illegitimate settlers in the country = Krus na Ligas residents, etc.
China's Interest = Ayala's interest in the idle land, envisioning to make a technopark out of it.
Probinsyano = stereotypical UP student
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The probinsyano will not give up his claim on a territory that he perceived to be his, even if he doesn't really realize that much that the national government (Imperial Manila) doesn't even care that much about the issue of his province, let alone provide the necessary means to safeguard the disputed territory. Aside from that, the national government still needs to prove the legitimacy of their claim on the islands. I don't think Cloma's discovery would hold that much ground since China's claiming to own that piece of land since the time of Jesus, and they probably even have records to prove it! The Philippines hardly even have a written history prior to the Spanish occupation.
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I have a friend who lives in Krus na Ligas and she said that one of the reasons why UP can't take over the area is because it can't present a valid document in legitimizing its claim, which is believe has a certain degree of truth to it because the PDI has reported something similar in the case of the informal settlers behind the gas station at the other side of Commonwealth Avenue. UP could have been having problems in documentations and it just can't lay a claim to a land just because it says so (much like what the Philippines is doing to Spratlys. Seriously, I don't think the issue of proximity is a valid argument. It has loopholes).
Anyway, I would be inclined to think that some UP students are similar to some probinsyanos who hate the imperialists (in UP's case, that would be the Ayala's) because they think that something from them would be taken away not realizing that they can't really even do something about their land by themselves.
If I'm not mistaken, the government budget allocated to UP can only handle the salary of the professors and the remaining part of it would be allocated to other basic things. UP can't expand that much without a major budget leverage. If I'm not mistaken, the EEE building that was built a few years ago didn't even utilize the UP budget but instead the assistance of a 3rd party private entity. Of course, that 3rd party has a stake at EEE, much like the Ayala's have a stake at technopark, and much like how China has a stake in the Spratly Islands.
That's the price a country has to pay for not legitimizing/validating a claim, and safeguarding it. And the lack of progress from an idle state is what probinsyanos have to pay for their regional pride.
Anyway, I think Dubai is smarter. It has tons of oil, and knowing that its constituency doesn't have the capability to fully utilized its recently discovered oil, it eventually became an expatriate haven. Well, I'd prefer a developed Dubai anytime over an untouched Spratly.
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